Sunday, September 30, 2012

This is the blog post

"When we feel stuck, going nowhere -- even starting to slip backward --
we may actually be backing up to get a running start."
-- Dan Millman

This is the blog post I've been thinking about writing for the last 6 months. It's been playing on my mind so much during this time and every time I go to write it, I receive words of encouragement or great comments about a recipe I posted or words I've written. It's time to have a break from the blog.

I could say its because not a day's gone by when I don't grieve for the loss of my mother. Her birthday is coming up on the 12th of October and I think of nothing else.

I could say its because not a day's gone by when I don't grieve for the loss of my marriage. After 40 odd years of wishing to be married with children and have it gone is very hard to deal with. Its time to start making new dreams.

I could say its because I put myself under so much pressure with blogging and social media. I sometimes forget how to live a 'real life'. A life where I don't want to have to think about whether someone wants to see the cup of coffee I ordered in a coffee shop or hear about the stew I made for dinner or the crazy things my kids have been up to. Worrying about whether or not I've shared everything I do on social media consumes me some days. I've realised there are millions of people out in the world who don't have a Facebook, Twitter or Instagram account. I'm going to be one of them again.

I could say its because I'm seeing my kid's lives flash before my eyes and I feel like I'm not enjoying every precious moment with them or being there for them.

I could say its because I've got two birthdays coming up in November and Christmas without Mum or a husband.

I could say its because of the legal stuff that's coming up from the marriage break down and Mum's estate.

I could say its because of wanting to get my house decorated and my garden in tip top condition.

I could say its because of the 1,000 lessons I need to teach my children to help them be good and capalable citizens of the world.

I could say its because in order to keep receiving the small amount of money the Australian government gives single parents, I have to either work or study for at least 15 hours per week when my youngest child turns 6 (which is November). What does a 48 year old Mum, who thought her days of outside work were over, do? I'm going to find out.

I could say its because of the state of my mental health. Instead of getting better I sometimes feel like I'm worse and all the 'stuff' I have mentioned above is not allowing me to heal. The panic attack I had on Friday night was my wake up call.

I figured this is the last day of the month. Tomorrow is the 1st. The first of a new way of life for me.

To all the friends I've made along the way, I couldn't have nor wouldn't have done this without you. You are all so close to me and I will continue to stay in touch with you via your blogs. Just because I'm not blogging doesn't mean that I won't stop reading them. That's how I got started. I love to read blogs and those regulars I read, your friendship means the world to me. The only other social media platform I'll continue to use is Pinterest. That's where I've stored all my favourite projects I intend on starting.

I'm giving myself at least 6 months to get my life in order, my dreams created, my physical and mental health back and my precious, sweet children my 100% devotion.

Thank you and all my love to you. xx

41 comments:

  1. I've lurked around your blog for awhile Anne - but I just want to say - big hugs to you and all the best with whatever you choose to do. Taking care of yourself is your number one priority.

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  2. Oh Anne, I know how much thought you must have put into this and what an awful past year it has been for you. I wish you all the very very best hun. Take the time to do all the wonderful things that will make your heart happy. Because you deserve every happiness in the world. Take care and we will be here for you if you ever need us. xxx

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  3. All the best Anne - I will miss popping by your blog.

    I am sure you will get back on track.

    Take good care.

    xxx

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  4. It feels weird to say yay for you when it means you won't be here, but I hear good things in your post - you will find your way, you will do great things with your home, with your kids and with your time. I look forward to hearing what you get up to and hope you won't be a stranger... xxx

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  5. Good on you Anne. I know that you've had a rough year and I'm sorry to hear that you are stressed, but I'm glad to hear you are doing what's best for you and the family. Lots of love to you and the kids, hope to cross paths again with you at some point :)

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  6. Take care of yourself Anne. Social media can really take a lot out of you. Just know there are people who care about you and are cheering you on as you navigate this new stage of your life. Stay in touch. x

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  7. Sending you a hug ((Anne)). I will miss you, but at the same time I want to say, "Go Get 'em, Girl!" You are so intelligent and capable. I know you will be awesome at whatever you choose to do! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

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  8. Best wishes Anne! Thanks for your support through the blogosphere!

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  9. Sending good vibes your way. Hope this break brings you all you need and more.

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  10. your post touched my heart. I light a candle every day, for prayers and wishes for my family and friends. I now include you.
    Best to you and thank you for your blog. It gave me pleasure

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  11. So sad to hear, Anne.. but you must first look after yourself and your kids - the rest can wait. I will miss your posts, party and especially your kind comments. Take care,
    Linda
    {hugs from South-Africa to you in Australia}

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  12. Anne, I think you have your head on quite straight! You have been dealt some hard blows, and you are dealing with them the best you can. No one heals quickly from these hurts. People who grieve go forward some then backward a little at times. I think that you are making good choices for yourself and your children. I count you as a friend, and I wish you the best.

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  13. My dear sweet Anne, you know you have all my love and support. Go forth and be the best you can be for you and your kids. Certainly don't be a stranger, you've been one of biggest supporters and most of all you've become a great friend and cuppas and catch ups are to be had.

    Be gentle and kind to yourself during this time of change, you deserve every happiness you desire and I'm pleased you are putting yourself and kids first.

    Much love. X

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  14. Thank you for letting us know and not just dropping out as some do. Peace, Harmony and Love to you and yours. xo

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  15. Oh Anne, sounds like you have been having such a hard time! I am thinking of you and I hope things get better for you! Take care xxx

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  16. Oh Anne, so sad to see you going, but you do what is best for you .... I will come over and say hi on Pinterest. Take care of you..(and your brood!)
    Take care and lots of love
    xxxx

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  17. I'll be thinking of you, Anne. I hope things get better for you soon. Enjoy your time!

    Thank you for sharing with us when you could have just disappeared without a word.

    Hugs,
    Tonya

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  18. Thanks for the chat Anne. I hope you don't stop blogging for ever and look forward to your return. In the meantime, take care of yourself, you deserve nothing but the best in this life.
    Love x Marnie

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  19. Oh Anne
    I'm so sorry. You have really had a horrific year and you need time to heal...I miss you from where I met you and I will miss you from here but you must look after you and your kiddos...

    (I do have a couple of job suggestions/ideas that have worked for friends of mine so e-mail me if the urge strikes).

    Good luck to you and your beautiful kids.

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  20. All the best Anne. I'll miss your lovely posts.

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  21. All the best to you- you are a courageous soul!
    - Lauren, Johannesburg

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  22. Anne,
    What a beautifully written post. You are such an amazing woman who has gone through so much. I can't express how blessed I feel to have found you. You have given me such strength and inspiration throughout my first year of blogging...both on the blog and with my children. Please keep me abreast of you and your lovely children.

    Please take the time you need to be the amazing woman you are. You are the center of your children's lives....the center of the family. Believe in yourself and see yourself as the beautiful woman all of us see. I am always here for you, my dearest friend

    XO
    Marilyn

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  23. Anne...I have tears in my eyes as I write this to you. You are a truly wonderful woman! I am so very sorry for the heartache in your life. I understand what it is like to feel as though it is all too much. There have been some devastating things in my life that don't show up online. I believe God will give you the strength you need to get through all of this as he did me and my family! Trust in him and say a little prayer each morning.

    Your kids are treasures and you'll never regret a moment spent with them. I will miss seeing them as they grow but you need to do what is best for all of you!!! Take care of yourself and know that your friend in America is sending hugs and prayers to Australia!

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  24. I hope that your bloggy break is all you want and more. Enjoy your children and your gardening. I hope the next few months go well for the three of you.

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  25. Dearest Anne,
    You have been a bright spot in my blogging world and I count you among my friends, and you will be truly missed. I am very sad that you are leaving, but understand that sometimes to move forward we have to let some things go. May your life be filled with the peace and joy that you have given others and may God Bless you as you continue your journey. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Hugs!
    Miz Helen

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  26. You know, somewhere along the way I remember you saying to me that you started this blog so that your kids could see your recipes and interests and a little about your life. They will have that...and will see how their mom carved time for her interests, made time for her family and friends, cared for a sick parent, handled the death of her own mother and so much more. I can't think of a better gift for them. Congratulations on such a successful venture. Best of luck in the next. Forever friends,
    Megan

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  27. Anne - I know that you will enjoy your bloggy break no matter how long you take. You have been such a treasured friend these past few months and I always enjoy getting your emails. I know that this is what is best for you and I am so happy for you and your decision. Take this time for yourself and your family and be blessed!

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  28. Oh, Anne. I'm so sorry. I'm thinking about you, and I hope that you find what you need to find your new normal. Or an even better one! ((Hugs))

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  29. Much love and hugs for your new turn in life.
    Sherry

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  30. How did I miss this post?!?! Anyways, was missing your updates and stopped by to see if you were okay. Any words I put here can not make things better for you and a break sounds like just what you need right now, sending you big hugs and hope x
    Stacey-Lee

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  31. You have such courage to say this to the world! You have such courage to allow yourself to take the time to make the changes you need to make in your life. Do you know how amazing that is? There is something so inspiring about seeing people take the steps and do the hard work that is about moving forward & moving on. Best of luck to you on your journey & I hope that you find everything you never knew you always wanted :D

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  32. Hi Anne, I'm the same age as you and I hear you... change does keep you going... new things are on your horizon... good things I feel it.

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  33. Anne,

    Thank you for giving your all. It will surely be missed here. Find your peace. If/when you return here, we'll be here.

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  34. Totally understand and wish you luck and happiness on your break. I am fairly new to your blog, so that gives me some time to catch up on your older posts. Take care of yourself and carpe diem! :)

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  35. Oh Anne, I know how you are feeling right now. The year I lost my Mum, Me & Hubby separated for a year. That year was the worst year of my life. I was lost, stuck and in so much pain. I'm sure I had a break down that year.

    I'm so pleased to have had you as a virtual friend and I hope we can stay in touch. Sending you lots of love & positive energy for the start of your new life. Lots of Hugs to you too xxxx

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  36. Oh Anne... After the year+ that you've had, it's time for you to focus on what your heart is telling you and not worry about cyberspace and it's many demands. You may not feel it right now, but you have a quiet, gentle strength that will carry you through this. Hold tight to your children and your friends and let them be there for you, for a change. You'll be dearly missed and I hope one day you decide to come back to blogging, but for now just know that we love and support you and I'm here if you ever need to chat or... whatever. My best wishes and thoughts will be with you. Warm hugs, my Aussie friend. ~Mary

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  37. Dear Anne, I will miss you and your blog. Lots of hugs and look after yourself and those lovely children. Judith L from Bendigo

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  38. Love yourself first, Anne. You deserve it and you'll make it through. Stay in touch only with positive people and enjoy every sweet moment with your kids. Give space to the good moments, peolpe and things and trash away what is only consuming you. We'll wait here.

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  39. Hi Anne, you've be so very kind to me, a fledgling blogger barely out of her nest! Guess what - we're the same age. I'll be thinking of you on 12 October. My parents are both getting old and its one of my greatest fears. I can only imagine how much you miss your mum. I wish you all the very best of luck and happiness and look forward to getting to know you through blogging. xx

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  40. I really wish I hadn’t seen this as I really want one now!

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